So, if you talked in me in real life, you know I've been sleepless for almost a week now. I've definitely had a lot on my mind - even if I haven't really discussed it... but after another sleepless night... I think I've hit a point of clarity. Or deliria.
I'm tired of being angry. But with that, I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being frustrated and hurt. I'm tired of being upset. I'm tired of all the lies and deceit. I'm sick of having to play by someone's rules in order to be with them. I'm tired of a relationship with too many strings and in actuality, it's not a real relationship when really, it just benefits someone else and that person isn't me. The only casuality of ending this relationship is not having sex anymore - but it's been complete crap that last couple of times, I'm not going to miss having the lousy sex. Besides, I'm not the only woman he's sleeping with, (which I was reminded of on Friday), no one loses with me ending this relationship.
Slowly, things have changed. Everything happens for a reason, but I think I would reason the instinctive actions in my heart to get it to understand. But I'm tired of it all, and I'm just going to take care of me from now on.
1 comment:
you know it's me. you know i have to comment on everything, everywhere at any given moment.
Happines is: laying in your bed watching Will and Grace on DVD - no commercials.
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