recap of the weekend.

Well, last week we were wiped out from Wednesday’s funeral for Chris’ half-brother, Bruce. Saturday morning, we get a phone call from Chris’ mom. His stepsister, Lisa, had been found dead on Friday afternoon of heart failure. She was only 47.

I had never met Lisa, but - according to Chris - she had a heart condition for sometime, was depressed and was over 300 lbs. Not that she deserved it, but Chris said, "Hopefully, she's at peace now because she was so unhappy alive."

Then, no joke, the very SAME DAY, maybe 20 minutes later at the most... Chris’ estranged tweaker cousin, Cheyenne, stopped by our house. She is wanted in Nevada for grand theft and assault. Back in February, her and her ex-con husband had robbed her mom (Chris’ aunt who had adopted her at birth) and pistol-whipped her dad. They then proceeded to wiped out the family’s safe, stealing over $60k in cash and his prized gun collection, and then went on the lam.

She showed up on our doorstep, but the dogs were acting weird, especially, Joey the beagle. He was freaking out and, instead of trying to rush the person to jump up and down to get petted and licked, he instead kept jumping up and slamming the door. When she finally left, and I called Chris – who then called 911. They instructed me to run around, lock all the doors and windows, grab the dogs and hide – far from windows or doors. They then showed up to take a statement, and keep me company, in case they came back.

Chris and his cousin, her brother, went looking for her – and found her in Cypress at her husband’s family house. Apparently he was caught last week and was in jail. They searched her, her car and called Cypress PD to the scene. They found knives with her, two in her pocket. Cypress PD showed up to arbitrate the situation.

Cypress PD said I was really lucky and that Joey saved my life. The way she was standing at the door when I answered it, they said she was more than likely to rush the door and barrel her way in, possibly hurting me, the dogs and then robbing us. Chris was supposed to go on a work trip Saturday through Sunday, but his boss let him cancel so he could stay home.

After all of this, I made my way to the birthday party I was supposed to be at… and proceeded to drink Smirnoff. It was just nice to be surrounded by my friends. They're so comforting. It was so nice to have them there.

Then yesterday, we found out one of Chris’ buddies from high school – that we see almost every Friday – his dad suffered congestive heart failure.

Now, I just found out that I didn’t get the Disney job I had thought I nailed.

I’m just having a really hard time right now. It’s hard to have faith when things keep going wrong, you know?

as hokey as it may seem, this hits the nail on the head...

Taurus (April 19 - May 19)

It could be that you have been losing faith in your dreams and fantasies lately, dear Taurus. Now is the time to refocus on what you want and move forward with confidence. You have done enough reflecting and reviewing. Now is the time to implement and create. Dream big and don't let others stand in the way of your progress. Today's shift may be subtle, but it should indicate smooth sailing for the next few weeks.

Here's hoping...

[insert heavy sigh here]

Friday was the longest day in a very, very long time.

3 a.m: Chris'half-brother Bruce was missing. His eldest son, Shaun, was calling to find out if we had heard from him, because it wasn't like him to not come home or not check-in. He had gone out to East LA from Chino Hills to teach a class at one of his auto body shops. Chris says no, the last time he had talked to him was in the afternoon as he sat in traffic. So, Bruce's family filed a missing person's report in order to get the GPS tracking locators turned on to find him.

We laid in bed. Wondering. Hoping. Wishing that Bruce had pulled over somewhere to catch some sleep. That he wasn't carjacked. Robbed. Anything.

5 a.m.: We get the phone call. Bruce's body has turned up in the El Monte morgue. He had suffered a massive heart attack. He had an ID on him, but no contact numbers to notify the family.

We took off around to Chino to be with the family. It was surreal. We got to the house, Teri (his wife) was surrounded by her sisters, friends and their 10-year-old daughter, Jessica. Shaun was dragged out by his friends to get some food, since they had been driving all night searching for his dad. AJ, their 6-year-old, was still asleep.

The most heart-wrenching thing was when AJ got up and came downstairs. He immediately ran towards Chris and jumped into his arms. Then he looked around and realized everyone was there and said out loud, "Is today a holiday? Can I stay home please, Mom? Is it a no school day?" Teri then asked Chris if he could tell him, and me, Jess and Shaun would go with him for support. I would die happy if I never have to hear or see a 6-year old's face again that hears that his dad isn't coming home. It broke my heart to see his face, hear him cry out, "nooooo, not daddy, why? why?"and to watch him crumple into Chris' arms.

He didn't smoke. He didn't drink. His personality was so big, and his love of life and everything in it was bigger.

Why, God?